Token Black Girl

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Feedback (2007)

Okay friends, I have recently been chewing over the idea that I run people away, especially men. I have been told that I am too aggressive, too straight forward, and in a nutshell that is unattractive. Also that if I ever want to make a relationship work I should compromise and dummy down those behaviors to make a man more comfortable with me. I have heard this from more than one source so any rational educated person kbows at this point its wrth some actual evaluation.

Here is my thing, I will never compromise who I am for anyone. While it can be argued that those behaviors are not who I am, I would simply like to state that they are. They are my most defining characteristics, and qualities in myself that I am proud of. To those who disagree and who feel that a womans nature is never so shrewd as mines, I would like to say speak for yourself. If you'd have grown up the way I grew up, experienced what I've experienced, and put up with anything near what I have had to put up with in life, I feel that your opinion would be different. I love who I am, and believe me, it took many years of self loathing and horrible self-esteem to get me to this point, but I do love me. Am I willing to pretend to be someone I am not to make guys like me more? I'm sorry I am just not gonna do that. I feel like I'd be doing myself a gross injustice to fight this hard and get this far to finally define myself, just to become one of the COGIC stepford wives.

"Good Man" - A discussion (2007)

Me: For starters, I would like to say that I had no idea that such a heated debate would spark from a couple of bulletin posts. However, i acknoledge the importance of free expression and how extremely healthy it is. I enjoy a good debate from time to time. To begin I would like to send many kudos to my dear friend Tajala for taking my thoughts and propelling them much, much further. She has a knack for articulating her thoughts well. I would also like to thank her for taking the time to differentiate between the "good guy" and the feigned "good guy". men, please stop takig it upon yourselves to label yourselves good unless you are willing to consistently put forth the effort in being one. Being good "to this one girl, this one time, but she broke my heart" so does not count.